Obnoxious things pet owners say

So I grew up with absolutely no pets, and nobody that was close to me had any pets either. Also, in Chennai a dog once chased me and bit me. Basically, I was not crazy fond of animals. Whenever I visited people with pets, they would say "oh don't worry he won't do anything!" while the dogs and cats would come smell my feet, lick, bark, run, jump.... What do you mean he won't do anything! He's doing all these things I'm really uncomfortable with! And then they'll follow it up with a "wow you know he only does that to people he really likes...". I would avoid having to go to houses with pets.

Then. I got engaged to this guy who to say has pets would be an understatement. I think the count is 5 dogs and 4 cats. When we initially started talking, you know the honeymoon phase where you agree with everything each other says, he had said if I am uncomfortable with pets he will personally make sure I feel at ease. Whatever it takes. Of course, I had also said oh yeah no problem at all I am sure I would love animals, I'm just not used to them that's all. That was not all. Or maybe it was. So anyway, we decided to get married and stuff, and after almost a year, a few weeks before the wedding I showed up at his house. It was the pets play time, so they all came running to the gate barking loudly at me. I may have wet my pants a little. Then he stood up and walked up to the gate. Phew, I thought, there's my man! He's going to come save me! He smiled and said "well, you have to get used to this" and walked right back after opening the gate for me. Ouch. I nervously petted them and walked in... they settled down soon and ignored me for the most part of my stay. I even ended up making friends with some of them. (For the record, I eventually realized they are absolutely adorable).

A few months back, the husband suggested we adopt a cat from the animal shelter here. I was surprisingly drawn to the idea even though I had no clue about what to expect. We went to the shelter a couple of times and I was mostly just watching as I let him pick. So that's how we ended up adopting Captain Murugan....and the rest is history! It would not be an exaggeration if I said he (the cat) changed my life! He runs to the door everytime I go home, he will wake me up in the middle of my sleep and demand to be cuddled, seeing him eat his entire bowl of fish just makes me so happy! Oh and he's such a great selfie cat. Here are some selfies for proof.

My selfie partner

So what prompted me to write this post was a couple of events that happened recently. We had a visitor a while back who was really afraid of cats. Guess what I ended up saying? "Oh don't worry he won't do anything!". A friend of mine who stayed over at our place, I think felt kind of uncomfortable with him playing his usual games under the couch when she was sitting on it.  Again, I said without even thinking "yeah, he only does that with people he's really comfortable with!!". Later, when I went to bed, I couldn't help laughing at how things have changed. I am now the obnoxious pet owner! And I am kinda proud of it. ;)

Short rant about a recent realization

Since we've established that rambling is my thing, here's the next rant. 

Relationships are supposed to make you feel good about yourself, not weigh you down. A very common question boys get asked - "is she high maintenance?". Well, it turns out maintenance is not confined to romantic relationships but exists in friendships and others too. So for the purpose of this post, when I say relationship I only mean with friends or relatives or colleagues that are not romantically involved. 

So I think there are two kinds of high maintenance situations I have had in my relationships - first, I really do have to keep taking the effort to keep the relationship going and second, I *think* I have to keep taking the effort to keep the relationship going and growing.

In the first case, the friend or relative most likely has massively huge expectations of you. Why? Because you've always been available, you don't like to say no, you are one big people pleaser and you are easy going. So even if they aren't keeping their side of the bargain, you will not let go and hold grudges. In fact, even if they say something annoying, you'll just take it in your stride because you don't want to stand up for yourself. You're basically a loser. But wait.

The second case is worse. Nobody even told you about their expectations of you. You just made it all up in your mind. You just believe that if you go out of your way and be all sweet to someone, of course they'll be your fan. So instead of them having expectations of you, you are having massive expectations of them. This works out well with the genuinely good people, who actually value sweetness. But with the rest, the majority, you just lose all respect. On the contrary, being uptight makes you intimidating and therefore heavily respected.

Isn't it pretty disappointing though, that being sweet is less respected than being an asshole? If you're a people pleaser by nature, the only solution is to stop being one. I haven't yet figured out an easier solution... 

Passionate about... rambling?

Earlier today I had a discussion about chain smokers because a friend's friend's friend is apparently one, and is planning to quit. That led to a general discussion on addictions. And then passion. And then I got a little depressed. 

This has been something I've thought about a lot - passion. I like doing a lot of things but I have no passion. You know, for our wedding reception, my parents ordered a cake and decided to personalize it. Very sweet idea. So they put a Gator logo for H. Because you know, everyone knows what a crazy Gator fan he is. And then. A piano for me. A lameass piano! Why can't I have a cool passion like a favorite football team that I'd watch all day and all night? Yeah yeah I like playing the piano, but I'm neither good at it nor am I passionate about it. It's just something I like doing sometimes. You know how people forget everything else when their favorite team is playing, or when they're at a concert by their favorite band, or their favorite movie releasing time? I got nothing.

I cribbed about all this to a (patient) friend who then pointed out that I love playing games. If someone told me to play badminton or tennis all day, I probably would love that, yes. If I could go back to Muscat and play every evening with my perfect set of friends, yes I already feel excited thinking about it. When I moved to Chennai after high school, I was surprised to find absolutely no company to play. So I joined a club, and played badminton with people twice my age. Now that sounds really cool if you're a kid. But I was almost 20, so it meant I was playing with the aunties and uncles of Mylapore. And they were bloody good! I was also "selected" to be a part of the college team because there were only 3 girls in total that even wanted to play. We of course didn't win any tournaments but I loved going for them. Hmmm so maybe that is passion? Breathe.

Well, I know what you're thinking. WTF.. if your friend needs to remind you what you're passionate about, then it's probably not a passion. You're right. It probably isn't. Or maybe it is. But I just realized midway through this rambling that it doesn't matter. Everyone does not need to have a passion. It's just some weird peer pressure thing. The cliche that says "you have to find your passion and pursue it" is overrated at the least. I can just ramble on and on right here on my blog and not have any passions. And that's perfectly okay! Of course, if you are pursuing your passion and it's making you happy, then great! Congrats! For example, if you're a food critique. Or the host of a 'travel the world' show. But if your day job is to clean out the garbage cans in the city, don't get demoralized by these passion-preachers.