The horror scope mania

I think we Indians live in a pseudo modern world where we want to seem broad minded. We don't want to be seen following age-old customs blindly, but on the other hand we're also too scared to let go of some traditions. One place where I see this most is during horoscope matching for weddings, and how some astrologer has predicted what will happen to them. Here's a conversation I had with one of my friends in India who is trying to find his life partner through the arranged marriage setup. Although I'm taking his example, I know a lot more people on the same boat.

He: I spoke to this girl just now, she called me after seeing my profile on the matrimonial site. She's very bold, forward thinking and independent. She's really pretty too.  

Me: Wow that's excellent news! So you're going ahead with this one right? 

He: No I think she's nice but I have to wait till they check if our horoscopes match. 

Me: Wait, so you're saying if horoscopes don't match you'll let it go even if everything else about her is exactly what you're looking for? 

He: My mom said horoscopes absolutely have to match. And I also believe in it. 

I was quite amused that a person from my generation was willing to make life changing decisions based on how the stars and planets were aligned at the apparent time of his birth. But, I don't question people's beliefs so I left it at that. However, what's more interesting is what he told me after talking to the previous girl that he had met through a similar arrangement. The horoscopes had matched. The parents were very happy. But he said the girl was too traditional, did not have a mind of her own and was not "good looking".

End result: He is frustrated. The parents are worried.

This is the case with a lot of others too, both boys and girls. So what is the problem? We have a picture of this perfect person in our minds, and we keep waiting for that Prince Charming to come. He should be cute, rich, funny, loving, sexy and my parents should love him and our horoscopes should match and he should cook for me and do all other household chores as well because I'm all for feminism and shit. In return he'll have my conditional love. Come on, isn't that enough?
Harish sent me an article with 60 short love stories... and this was one of the favorites.

Today, when I asked my grandfather for some relationship advice, he said, “Honestly, the moment I stopped trying to find the right woman, and started trying to become the right man, your grandmother walked up to me and said, ‘Hello.’”

Pretty much sums up what I'm trying to say.

Coming back to the horror scopes. I have another friend who's doing a PhD that told me that she believes that only if horoscopes match, the marriage will work. And that her astrologer has correctly predicted that she will be married next year.
(Now the same astrologer had predicted that she will get married even last year).

I have no problem with astrology. I know that there are some really strong astrologers out there who know their stuff. But here are some of my problems with the blind rigid following.

1. Your entire horoscope is prepared based on the exact time of your birth. How accurately do you know your time of birth? The clocks in the hospitals may have been running ten minutes fast. The doctor may have taken a few extra minutes to note down the time after having you delivered. What if there was day light saving? ;)

2. Many times, two kids are born in the same place same time. But one dies immediately after being born. They have the same horoscopes don't they?

3. Have all the marriages that have been made through horoscope matching succeeded? No diseases, no deaths, no problems? No. I have examples from my family, and I'm sure you do too.

So, every relationship can go either way. The only reason for it to work is that you want it to work :) Instead of adding to your list of criteria the partner should have, work on being the person they'd want. And get rid of blind beliefs, replace them with faith in yourself. There's no star or planet in the universe that can control your life more than you yourself!

It's Maya Bay!

Until September 2012, when people asked me what my favorite place on earth was, I used to indulge in some of the most cliched replies. "Oh any place is as good as its people.." "I love Baltimore and Singapore because of all the wonderful friends I've made.." "I love Chennai - there's no place like home!" and so on. But after my trip to Thailand, my reply has gotten much simpler. "It's Maya Bay!"

Koh Phi Phi Ley, Thailand

Maya Bay is situated in the Krabi province of Thailand, and it is surrounded by the island Ko Phi Phi Ley. This may look familiar to you if you've watched 'The Beach' where Leonardo DiCaprio follows directions from a map to reach the secret paradise island on Maya Bay. The way to get here is first fly to Phuket, then hop on a ferry to Ko Phi Phi Don and there book the Maya Bay Camping tour. I suggest the Chao Koh tour, you can even leave your bags in their office. The entire camping tour is around 80USD per person. Totally worth it! First, they take you on a longboat to Maya Bay and from the minute you get on that boat, it is a whole new experience. Here are some of the sights en route... 

The blue waters around Maya Bay!

I fell in love with the water color! The phrase 'feeling blue' should be changed to mean feeling ecstatic! The bright blue colored waters and the huge mountain cliffs overlooking them... I had never seen anything as beautiful. The weather was very pleasant too. September is actually the off season, heavy rains are expected but it didn't rain at all while we were there. On the way, they stopped the boat and gave us snorkeling gear. Since the water was clear, the coral reefs and other aquatic life were clearly visible. (Although, the ones we saw off the coast of Gili islands near Lombok were better). After snorkeling and swimming around in the water for a while, we got back onto the boat and they gave us freshly cut pineapples to eat :) And then we reached the island where we were going to spend the night. 

The sunset was pretty gorgeous, just like all sunsets. We were entertained by the guides with some fire dance shows. They cooked us some brilliant Thai food, and a bucket full of a special Thai drink ;) There were about 15 other tourists as part of this tour, we all played some weird games. And then at night we slept on the open beach looking up at the sky! This was my favorite part of the trip. The sky was filled with stars and more stars. There was a mild breeze and the relaxing sound of waves, it just felt wonderful. And then. For the first time in my life I saw shooting stars! Three of them! I think the 'making a wish' thing really works because the first two times I wished that I see one more. And the third time.. well I think that wish is coming true too. Sleeping on a beach, looking up at the infinite universe, does make you feel on top of the world. Having lived in big, polluted cities all my life, this was very different and awesome! Kung Fu panda would've had no difficulty finding that inner peace here. 

That's me just before waking up

The next morning we went back to Phuket in the ferry, and did some jet skiing at Patong beach. Karthik and Srinath fell off their jet skis because of the rough waves and had to swim back to shore. I was of course racing through the waters like a pro! In the evening I got my hair braided like Beckham (David Beckham Hairstyle) except that it looked way worse than that. Way worse. Later we checked out the night life on Bangla road where two lady boys offered Karthik a rose, and Srinath almost got selected to do a belly dance.

On the whole, this is one place that I would love to visit again and again, even it is by myself :) So yeah, it's Maya Bay!

Happy birthday!

I turn 25 today. The silver jubilee. Quarter century. A milestone they say.

So what exactly do I celebrate today? Being alive for 25 years? Sure, that would have been a big deal and certainly a reason for celebration had I been brought up in famine-stricken Somalia or in warzones or had wicked parents that abused me. Or of course, if I had other Darwin award tendencies. Thankfully, none of these are true in my case. I’ve been blessed with the best parents and a very peaceful environment to grow up in. I couldn't have asked for better! So really, I can’t take the credit for being alive for 25 years can I? 

Ok, then let’s talk about achievements and dreams. Yes I’ve managed to graduate from good schools and I have a really cool job (those who know me will understand what I’m talkin about!) and I am pretty much financially stable. I make enough money to keep me going. Dreams… well, from my childhood days, I’ve always wanted to see the world and travel to far off places, learn their languages and eat their speciality dishes. I’ve lived in Chennai, Muscat, Baltimore and Singapore, and I’ve traveled to Malaysia, Indonesia, Thailand, South Africa, the Himalayas and many parts of the US and India. I can read and write Arabic, studied French in school and right now I’m learning Chinese. I like my idlis as much as the Thai green curry and basil tofu. But again, can I really take credit for all of this? No. It wouldn’t have been possible without appa paying my tuition fees, or my friends accompanying me on the trips, or my labmate teaching me Chinese. Although I’m content with myself, I don’t believe that any of my achievements are so special that a normal 25 year old with similar background couldn’t have achieved. Don't get me wrong - I'm not depressed. Just giving build-up for my next paragraph :)

So what is it that I celebrate today? Why am I going to proudly say ‘thank you’ when people wish me a happy birthday? Yeah yeah, because it’d be mean not to. But what I’m getting at is a little deeper. If you ask my friends, from school or college or work, about me, the majority of them will have nice things to say. That’s true for most of us. We are nice to more people than we hurt. Is that good enough? Yay, I’ve hurt only 3 people! So I’m more good than bad, all is well? The truth is, to those 3 people, I was probably the biggest terrorist of all time, at least for that minute or hour or month of their suffering.  How can that be good in anyway? During one of my projects in undergrad, I was working for a PhD student. She once told me (of course in the context of protein purification that I had messed up) – “Don’t say everyone makes mistakes. That’s no justification. If you take enough care, you’ll be surprised how easily mistakes can be avoided. And by avoiding them, you can spare yourself so much time and effort”. She was very short tempered, and I was very young. Back then I thought she was just being overly paranoid, and I never gave much thought to it. I never forgot it though because not too many people have shouted at me, and surprise! I don’t like being shouted at! It was only earlier this year that I came up with the same thing that she said, and realized how true it is. And in the list of mistakes made by people, I think hurting someone physically or mentally (or both, except if you’re a dentist) is right on top. It’s the worst thing you can ever do. That's because you can only cause pain when you’re in a position of power. When they’re at your mercy. To misuse that power is such a disgusting thing to do! As spider man agrees – with great power comes great responsibility. Be responsible. And once you’ve made the mistake, the time and effort it takes to clean up, if at all it’s possible to clean up, is way too much. I mean mistakes, apart from causing harm, are also a big waste of time, energy and effort. To those of you out there who think you've done shit but gotten away with it, let me tell you. You're probably right. And the fact that you're happy with yourself for it is punishment enough. 

Having caused pain to others in the past, I took a vow this summer that I will never be that person again. And that is what makes this year special for me. And that is what I will be celebrating. To no mistakes! Cheers!